Numbness

Wishing away days is something I never thought I would do. I constantly find myself doing this nowadays. I’m always missing someone or something. I constantly question if what I’m doing makes me happy. Is being genuinely unhappy worth the little happiness and accomplishments I feel? I take things so literally and personally that I feel defeated quite often. Days blur together and I feel myself just doing without my heart in it and with no passion. I check the box and never feel like I’m at a good stopping point to stop and admire what’s going on at work. I can’t even share my days with my best friend because we are never even in the same place and he’s almost always without a phone or way of communicating to me. I feel defeated. I have amazing friends and family but still feel alone. A piece of my heart always feels numb. I really hate the routine my life has become. I have a lot of thinking/decisions to make in the next year or so. The future seems so unsettling to me because so much is just unknown. I really can’t wait until April 19th when I get to see my husband again and just talk. šŸ˜¢šŸ˜­

  

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